Arranged Marriages

Posted by chuckc on Apr 2, 2012 in Family Ministry | 0 comments

It seems that at some point in a literature class, I read a story that was centered around an arranged marriage. I remember thinking as a teenager that was ridiculous. Now as a parent of teenagers my perspective has changed and arranged marriages seem quite reasonable. I know that it’s really not possible for me to select exactly who my children will marry. However, I also don’t plan to simply be a spectator.

Who we marry is likely the second (behind accepting Christ as our Savior) most important decision we will ever make. A great marriage has such an overall positive impact on our lives. My life is a great example of this reality. I married over my head, a home run; what a blessing Emily has been/is to me. I can’t imagine life without her. As parents, we can’t completely arrange who our kids will marry but we can help prepare them for this giant decision.

1. Pray for their future spouse. Emily and I pray for Zach’s future wife and Maggie’s future husband. We ask God to protect and bless their lives. Truthfully, I pray that they are incredible – at least by my standards.
2. Start talking with your kids about marriage. Talk with your kids about the significance of the decision regarding who they will marry. (I am making an assumption they will marry but it is certainly possible they won’t). Talk about the truth of scripture regarding marriage. Talk about the God honoring qualities that are possible in a future mate.
3. Establish early, your guidelines about dating. Critical conversations like the ones I am describing in this blog are based on a foundation of a great relationship with our kids. Without that foundation conversations about marriage & dating can be a mess. Emily and I have established a few key guidelines regarding dating.

• Don’t date anyone you could not see yourself marrying. This begins with this person having a relationship with the Lord.
• Don’t worry about making your kids want to start dating. Many more problems will start too early. (In case you’re wondering, I think 25 is a good round number. Just kidding!)

I won’t be arranging my kids marriages but it’s too big a decision with a profound impact, not to provide as much wisdom and guidance as possible. What do you think?

Strengthening Your Marriage & Parenting Through Community

Posted by chuckc on Mar 26, 2012 in Family Ministry | 0 comments

A great source of support, learning and improvement that my wife Emily and I receive related to our marriage & parenting is from our small group. This community of friends who we share life with are a blessing. There are so many benefits to our marriage & parenting by being plugged in to a small group. A few that I have found are:

1. Prayer covering for our children. One of the coolest things about our group is that we regularly pray for one another’s children. I love knowing that other believers are praying for my kids.

2. Growing spiritually with other married couples. As our group digs into God’s word on specific topics, (prayer, living out your faith, hearing from God, etc.) our discussion often touches how a particular Biblical truth strengthens our marriages.

3. Having fun & hanging out. I enjoy spending time with the other couples in our group by enjoying dinner and relaxing. It’s neat to hear how different couples are navigating their various challenges of life. God often uses other believers to speak truth into our lives.

I encourage everyone to find a small group that is the right fit for them. Don’t miss out on the benefits to your marriage & parenting through community.

Memory Makers

Posted by chuckc on Mar 19, 2012 in Family Ministry | 0 comments

Parents, we need to capture and preserve positive family memories. Special trips, outings, events and specific moments become part of the fabric and heritage of our families. The impact of these experiences multiply if we preserve the experience through:

• Family conversations
• Pictures
• Momentos
• Videos
• other

As the spring blooms start to show the conversations at our house turn to the Carringer annual trip to the beach. Memories from past trips are relived. Our family is strengthened as we recall these wonderful shared experiences. It doesn’t have to be a trip. The memories can come from pulling out Christmas decorations, playing in the leaves or enjoying a family picnic in a nice spot.

Let’s use memory markers to strengthen our families.

Volunteers Impact Kids & Students Lives

Posted by chuckc on Mar 12, 2012 in Family Ministry | 0 comments

Each week at Faith Promise Church I have the pleasure of watching the impact of our volunteers in fpKids and fpStudents. These selfless individuals take seriously their opportunity to positively impact the next generation. One of our family values is widen the circle. Our volunteers epitomize what widening the circle looks like. As parents we need other people who will champion the same message and values. People who love and care about our kids. Our volunteers partner with parents. My kids, Zach and Maggie, have both benefitted greatly from the influence of volunteer leaders in the kids and student ministries.

If you attend Faith Promise and you haven’t found your serving niche just yet, consider making a difference in the life of a child or student by serving in Family ministry.

Our Faith Revealed

Posted by chuckc on Feb 27, 2012 in Family Ministry | 0 comments

As with all things, what we model for our children is more impactful than what we say. Our kids want to see our actions match our words. As we journey through life and face the inevitable trials (illness, job loss, relational pain, disappointment, etc.) our faith is revealed. The manner in which we respond to difficult events demonstrates where we place our hope. As Christ followers there is assurance that ultimately, our future is secure. Are we modeling this assurance for our kids?

The difficult and painful experiences of life are a great teaching time for us as parents with our children. Our kids will experience their own hurts and disappointments. We can help equip them for the larger trials that come later by modeling our faith in Christ during our own times of hurt.

In times of difficulty is your faith in God revealed through your actions?

Finish Lines

Posted by chuckc on Feb 20, 2012 in Family Ministry | 0 comments

The finish line signifies the end of the race. In life, the race keeps going so we need to create some finish lines. This past Friday was the finish line for my wife Emily and I. We have been in a particularly busy season so three weeks ago I declared Thursday night the finish line. We reserved Friday to spend the day together. I can’t tell you how many times in the past three weeks we have mentioned the finish line, our Friday together.

We all need to create some finish lines for ourselves and our families. Finish lines look like:

• A family weekend
• Family vacation
• Personal retreat
• A day for you & your spouse (even better, a few days)

Finish lines are intentional. We have to create them and honor our commitment to slow down, pull away from the busyness, rest and reconnect with those we love.

Do you need to create a finish line for you and your family?